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Mood Ring defies expectations. Her name was Lydia, and her drive for companionship seemed to make her a bit of a pariah among the singles mixer crew all of whom were legit looking for second husbands like it was their second job. I had vowed not to use my phone during this experiment, but after 10 minutes in the bar, I caved. Order Highbrow, Lowbrow, Brilliant, Despicable: She pictured Lydia trading risk for approval on a grand scale, hooking up with every dude she met, receiving confirmation that she wasn't one of the ugly ones. And nowhere does that horrible package deal seem to play out more sharply than when we're alone at the bar. So I thought that rolling in here after the anxiety of Joshua Tree would be easy like Sunday morning.

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